Frozen Flames
by Icequeenlost
Summary: Casey is starting at SVU , neither her or Alex are too happy about. can they find a way to make it work , when one finds out the other is hiding a dark secret how will they respond. will the cases they work bring them closer to what they are truly looking for. or will that initial spark be frozen when one of there worlds come crashing down. (calex story)(I am bad at summaries)
1. seriously

**Casey Pov**

It is never a good day when the first words you hear are 'the boss is looking for you' especially when you haven't even managed a cup of coffee yet. However here we are standing outside his office door . I can't remember doing anything that would have gotten me in trouble so I'm hoping this is about the transfer I applied for. I raise my hand to knock but hear a

" enter" called out before my hand reaches the door. I take a deep breath and walk into the room.

"You wanted to see me sir" i say as i step into the doorway

"Close the door miss novak"

I do as i'm asked and walk toward his desk , I can't really put my finger on why I'm so nervous but the shaking in my hands wont stop.

"Is this about my transfer sir , cause if it's about that spat with Trevor in court it wasn't my fault and honestly he's really a smile…"

my rambling was stopped by his hand and i nodded and mouthed a quick 'i'm sorry.'

"Casey i have no clue to what you are going on about , i asked to see you simply to tell you , that you will be starting at svu next week" he said

Yup that was all it took I couldn't believe this this day was getting worse by the minute

"Are you serious special victims? When I put in for a transfer I thought I requested homicide" I spat at my boss rather pissed I might add.

"Yes well a request is just that a request and SVU needs another ADA, homicide has three" Branch spoke sternly.

"Yeah but you're making the Ice Queen my boss"

"Cabot will be your supervisor; I am still both your bosses Casey "

"Yes sir" I said still highly disappointed.

"Take the weekend off and check in with Cabot on Monday, understood"

I stare at him trying not to explode into a rage how could he do this to me oh well guess I will find some way to make it work.

"Understood"

"Good see you Monday miss Novak" I turned and left this office. I'm sure everyone in the office could tell I was stomping my feet but I didn't care, how was I ever going to do this job and work with Alexandra Cabot she hates me, ok so not like I have ever really met her I think we have said hi in an elevator once or twice and I mean she's good at her job. But from what I hear she is also a real bitch. The last thing i need in my life right now is a control freak guess we'll just have to wait and see.

I get back to my apartment and lay down on the couch maybe if I just don't get up I won't have to go in and then this nightmare won't be real. Not sure what to do I was told to take the day off but what does that even mean I would rather be at work. Guess Branch thought I needed time to cool off so that's what I will do.

* * *

 **Alex point of view.**

It had been one of those days, a long day of boring paper work and constant flood of motions from defense attorneys from the four cases I had been working. I was fighting the start of a migraine when there was another knock at my office door. It's almost six in the evening I can't imagine what disaster this was going to be. After lunch I had given up locking my door so I close the current case file on my desk and call toward the door.

"Come in" I say

"Hello Alexandra how's your day?" spoke my boss Arthur Branch. This was not going to end well for my already pounding head.

"Lots of paperwork sir" I tried to sound happy but I'm sure my attempts were fleeting.

"That's where I would like to offer some help , I have decided to add another ADA to SVU you of course will be lead and get to assign case's but as the unit is growing we have to keep up" he spoke steady and slow seeming to be gearing for a fight which I was of course about to give him.

"Sir, really I'm ok, it's not that much work, and we don't need another person…" I spit out

"It is already done Alexandra, so please calm yourself or we will only have one ADA and it won't be you." He said in a rather stern voice.

I shake my head I was the first ADA who had been given a permanent spot at svu this unit was mine, yes the thought of having someone around to fetch me coffee and do my basic paperwork sounded nice , but wasnt that what interns were for did i really need another ADA here. I was mapping out an argument in my head when i looked into my bosses eyes that thought quickly faded clearly this was not up for debate.

"Who?" I manage to say, lowering my voice and nodding my head in understanding.

"ADA Casey Novak"

"That redhead tomboy from white collar" I said raising my voice once again.

There was no words from Branch just one simple look that said it all 'behave or i'll have your job' and I'm sure he meant it but trying to save my standing and my dignity I speak again.

"Sorry, it's just she's not equipped to deal with victims" I say

"As I recall Alex there was a time you didn't know how to deal with them either"

"Yes sir, when does she start"

"She will be in on monday "

I looked at him trying to beg for more of an answer but was met with none, how was i going to train this girl. I'm sure she is quite a good lawyer and what I have heard she had a decent conviction rate but dealing with thieves was quite a difference from rapists.

"You are to help her learn the ropes" he said heading back out the door standing in the doorway he turned back "I mean it Alexandra , play nice" and with that he left the door slamming shut behind him.

"Dam it" I call out shaking my head at the pain the echo had caused. This was the last thing I needed a bright eyed little spit fire who didn't give a crap about this unit. Well that was by far the end of my work day best get home before this headache gets worse, I pack my things and head for home, monday was going to be a long day.


	2. Icey welcome

**_AN:_** _hey yall quick note , first off all mistakes are mine yes I know my grammar is awful , I'm working on it. I am trying to update this story once a week but with work and home it may just be random. please read a review enjoy_ ~Ice

 **Casey Pov**

I woke up the following Monday trying my best not to be sick. The weekend had been uneventful with the exception of my constant emotional roller coaster. Of raging mad at not getting the job I asked for, and total crippling fear of someone like me working svu. I had tried my best to relax but nothing seemed to help. Even my three mile run couldn't calm me completely. So as my alarm rang at 7 on Monday I laid there thinking do I really need this job or not.

I guess though my brain decided it likes my apartment and food so anyway here I am , 20 feet away from ice queen Cabot's door my heart is beating fast. I don't know why this woman, who I haven't actually met, scares me so, but I have no choice other then to deal with her. I take a deep breath and move closer I hear her voice but no sign that she knows I'm here she must be on the phone I wait outside till I hear her hang up then I knock firmly there's no noise for a moment then a piercing voice

"Come in" she calls  
I open the door slowly and step in closing it behind me she doesn't look up from her desk. Her hair is down and falling just over the side of her face. 'The top of her head doesn't look so scary' I think.

"Novak" she says in a questioning tone

"Yes Casey" I respond about to walk toward her desk.

"Yeah ok" she stands and walks toward me she circles me like a hawk. I dare to glance into her eyes 'yup I'm certainly the prey here' I quickly cast my eyes down. I know it's best to not provoke wild animals.

"so you think you can do this job" she asks. Her tone calm and even as if I'm not actually worth her emotions

"Yes" I manage to say not sure if I mean it

"Really" she glares she's now standing in front of me so close I can feel her breath and for the second time I look up into those blue eyes they really do look like ice but they are very pretty ,'Wait what ...no' I can't think that.

"Yes" I say more confident this time

"Ok then Novak… here" she slides a piece of paper into my hand I flip it over , there is an address on it

"you will meet two of the detectives there and it will be your first case enjoy" she says almost with a smirk I nod and turn to leave but she grabs my wrist to stop me. I freeze, I have to hold my reflex back not to punch her.

"first off tomboy let's make one thing clear , I am in charge here so don't screw up and make me look bad got it" I twitch at the pain in my arm and try to move away but she holds it tighter for just a second longer before releasing me.

"also Im supposed to tell you if you need anything I'm here for you this is not a normal squad and these are not normal victims or cases blah , blah , blah " she speaks and for the first time I feel a warmth from her not kindness but there was light in her sarcasm and that gives me a bit of hope ,she turns back to her desk.

"I won't let you down Cabot" I say as I turn to leave and I can't help but feel like she's staring at me as I do.

I head to the address she gave me and was not meet with a very warm welcome at all, but I sucked it up, this was my first case and I was not about to give up even if it was about a kidnapped girl. I just didn't think this case would be so hard and I really wish she hadn't grabbed my arm like that it's starting to bruise.

 **Alex pov**  
I lay back in my desk chair watching the redhead leave. 'Her ass looks nice in those pants ' I think to myself but I shake those thoughts quickly. I wonder if maybe I shouldn't have been so tough on the poor girl after all I could have just given her the address and sent her off , but she needed a taste of the reality of it here and I needed to give it to her. I could smell the fear on her the second she walk in the room. If she can't handle me how is she going to be in an interrogation room with a perp,I do hope I didn't push her to hard if she quits today branch will have my head and you know I really should have warned Liv and Elliot, oh well my best friend will kill me later. I glance at the clock on my wall ,

"Crap I have court in twenty" I grab my bag and run out of the door

"Maybe we do need another person" I whisper as I rush out of my office.  
It was almost 7 when I finally made my way back to my office. Court had taken forever then I went to grab some food ,I guess I could have been back earlier but I make the trek to the end of the hall and I notice a light from Casey's office still on I know I shouldn't but I can't help it.

"knock knock" I say as I tap the door  
A slightly defeated voice answers back "enter"

"Hey how was the first day"

"It was great" she smiles one that I am sure is fake

"It only gets better"  
She nods  
I notice her eyes are a bit glassy as if she had gone from crying to anger quickly. I recall someone leavening just as I pulled in.

"Was that Liv , who just left" I ask her. I haven't gotten to talk to them other then a nasty voicemail left on my cell about how I blindsided them in the field.

"Uh yeah , she came by to drop off ... Uh tell me that "

"That you screwed up today" I hadn't gotten the story but water cooler gossip at the court house hadn't been good.

"She already yelled at me , I really don't need another lecture" she tells me.

"Fine with me, night " I say  
and I turn to leave but am stopped by her harsh whisper

"You really don't like me do you"  
I sigh

"I just don't think this job is for everyone and some tomboy spitfire with a thing to prove is not the right fit"

"Why if some rich trust fund prissy can handle it why can't I" she smarts back.

"You don't even know me" I say

"And you don't know me, just get out of my office ok"

yup zero to one hundred real quick with this one .  
I leave slamming the door how dare she, the nerve, I huff as I unlock my office and grab my things that poor girl wants a fight with the ice queen then she will get one let's just see what happens if they can't solve this case. Or even better if they do.

I slam my door and head out deciding its best to head home.


	3. Her eyes

**Casey** pov

The case had gone from bad to worse another child had been kidnapped and I still wasn't on good terms with the detectives. But i was trying my best to stay positive, I hadn't talked to Alex after that night in my office. Maybe I shouldn't have said those things but she's awful. I know she doesn't want me here and honestly a part of me agrees with her. I never wanted this but homicide was full and i couldn't stay in white collar forever so here i was trying and according to everyone failing miserably. These were all the thoughts that ran through my head as I made my way to branch's office I was more than willing to quit right here and now.

This day had been the toughest I watched my detectives chase down the kidnapper on that dock and looked on as Elliot shoved him into the water, I don't even know what made me feel the need to check that cooler, but I did, I found that girl and when I lifted her in my arms I had to fight back tears as I hugged her tight.

I take a deep breath as I knock on my boss's door.

"Got a minute"

"Save a child, you get two" I smile at him

"I don't think I can do this" I say looking at him he just gives me that really look and I know I'm not getting out of this assignment. He tried to make a joke but i simply rolled my eyes

I don't really know what he said after that because I couldn't bring myself to focus but I knew he was telling me to hang in there and it ended with him saying that one day I would want this job , I really hope he's right. Because right now I'm not even sure I want to be a lawyer.

I turn and walk back toward my office I can't quite bring myself to go home , I consider going to the bar but I'm not in the mood to drink alone so I just shut my door and plop down on my office couch as tears poor from my eyes, there are so many reasons I can't do this job I cry into the couch I close my eyes hoping to forget about this case and trying to think how long this torture will last.

Alex pov

"Cabot" I answer the phone on the third ring ,its branch.

"Hello Alexandra" its branch , I sigh

"Hi sir what can I do for you"

"How about check on your co-worker"

"Oh something happen to one of the detectives" I say with a small grin thankful he can't see it.

"Alex" he says sternly

"I know I heard about the case is she ok"

"The girl or Novak"

"Both"

"The child is fine, however I'm not sure that can be said for Casey, she just left my office and I am quite sure she needs a friend"

"Why me" I ask even if I do know the answer.

"Would you like to keep your seniority, this is part of your job"

"Ok, ok I'm still in my office anyway I'll go see if I can find her"

"Thank you and goodnight "

I hang up the phone and sigh great now I have to babysit I did not go to law school to babysit and after that fight I had with the redhead I don't think she will even look at me. I grab my coat and head across the hall seeing her light still on I tap on the door lightly and it opens. I poke my head inside and whisper her name, no response I step in and see her sprawled across her couch I walk closer to her I pick a pen up off the small table and toss it at her.

"Novak " I yell and that point I really wish I hadn't done that.

I watch in shock as she jumps up and sits on the couch pulling her knees to her chest and she screams.

"No get away from me no please, I'm sorry , I'm sorry , please dont "

I worry for a moment wondering if she really was that mad at me but then I looked into her bloodshot green eyes no doubt form all that crying and I see fear but her eyes are dissent as if she doesn't know it's me. I move closer and reach out a hand she flinches as I try to speak.

"Casey its Alex I'm sorry" I say as calming as possible i sit down on the coffee table in front of her ,we sit in silence for a bit then she sets her feet on the floor and turns to me I know she's looking at me this time.

"Alex" she spoke as if confused. "What happened" she asked

"I think you had a flashback"

"Did I hurt you?"

"no, no , are you ok" I ask placing my hand on her knee.

"Yeah I'm ok Cabot what are you doing here anyway"

"Wellness check, branches orders" I say with a smile she giggles and the light slowly comes back to her eyes..

"Well I'm fine you can go thanks" she pushes my hand away and moves to stand up

"I'm not going to hurt you" I say suddenly feeling very guilty for my childish behavior

"You already did" she says as she rubs her wrist and I feel a pain in my stomach as I remember that first day. Guess I grabbed her harder then I meant too.

"I'm so sorry.. I shouldnt have , I didn't know"

"Know what, I don't know what you're talking about but I'm fine and I would like to be alone" she snaps

"Please case"

"Don't call me that I don't even know why you're using my first name, like you care like we're friends" she spits back

"You know you really are a piece of work Novak" I say jumping into my ice queen mode I get up and head for the door but that voice in my head which right now sounds a lot like branch tells me to look back and I see it , shame , embarrassment , guilt and fear.

"Leave Cabot" she yells at me

"Not until you listen to me" I shout back.

"I don't know you, your right but if you're going through something I would like you to know I am here, I understand that I have not been the nicest person and I should have been there for you on this case more and I'm sorry for that. But please, I know in your eyes I'm some rich trust fund priss who only cares about her job, but I worked hard to get here and you know there really is a heart under the ice If you were wondering. you have my number if you want to talk anytime"

I look at her the shocked expression on her face I'm sure mine mirrors it as i'm having a hard time believing my own words, but seeing her like that so scared to distiant I just , I don't know felt something . she nods and I reach for the door stepping out I whisper

"I truly am sorry Casey"

as I turn and walk down the hall no wonder she didn't want this squad Casey Novak is a victim. I exit the building and head home two lone tears fall from my eyes as I walk. I'm supposed to protect people and i only made it worse. I hope in time she can forgive me at the same time the image of her glistening green eyes filling with light if only for a minute flash in my mind. 'They really are quite beautiful' I think.


	4. coffee and cases

**Casey POV**

I closed my eyes and slid back down to the couch missing it a bit and landing on the floor I sat there longer than I should have just staring at the door, had that really happened did the one person I hate right now just see how hurt I am. I don't even know where any of that came from maybe my pent up anger at her or the fear I felt when she grabbed my wrist but to just snap like that to completely forget where I was, I mean it did happen a lot when I first left him but that was years ago why did it happen now and why in front of her. I shake my head and try to get up but I feel my body it's too shaken to really move so I climb back on the couch I guess it's better than going back to my empty apartment.

I can't sleep so I just stare at the ceiling thinking about everything mostly the conversation with Alex but it wasn't her words that kept replaying in my head it was flashes of her. Seeing Her beautiful lips and those ice blue eyes that I saw a hint of humanity in, those long legs as she stood over me and that slickly blonde hair. Oh god I thought I think I have a crush on Alexandra Cabot no I can't I tell myself she's a rude stuck up priss and she would never like me anyway. But it's that thought that makes her words begin to play on repeat , her saying my name so soft and sweet her trying to comfort me and all I did was push her away could I be wrong is there really a way to melt the ice queen had she shown me that. Would i even what that.

I lay there and am finally able to close my eyes and drift off into a not so peaceful sleep. When I awaken and stretch out I can hear voices in the hall and clicking of heels on the tile floor I look to the clock 9am it reads at least i got more sleep than I thought. I sigh and stand up making my way to the coffee pot I keep in my office and turned it on I was going to need more than the supply that I had to make it through this day but right now I knew that I had to apologize to a certain blonde. I down my cup so fast I almost burn my mouth but I needed the caffeine i quickly change into my spare outfit I keep in the office and throw my hair into a bun. I pop my head out of the door and look across the hall Alex has her door open and I see her move across her room I retreat back into my office then fix another cup of coffee and walk toward her door.

I'm standing in the doorway when she looks up at me with those crystal eyes

"Yes" she says cold and harsh

I respond calmly and with a small smile

"Can we talk" she stares at me "I made you some coffee

She nods and I step in closing the door behind me I walk near her desk and slide the cup toward her. She looks at me but softens her glare.

"Not poison is it" she asks taking a sip

"If it was I'm sure you would find a way to come back from the grave to prosecute me yourself" I smile

And for the first time in my presences' Alex giggles her laugh is amazing.

"You have that right, now what can I do for you"

"About last night" I start to say but she cuts me off

"Casey did you sleep here hun" she asks

Hun I like her calling me that I don't know how to react so I nod she stands and walks toward me she places a hand on my shoulder, I knew the words she was about to ask and I felt so small next to her like a child sitting in her school counselor's office being asked this. Her words may not surprise me but her actions do she bent down in front of me and placed her hands on my knees and looks me straight in my eyes.

"Casey I am going to ask you something, and tell me the truth ok"

"Yes" I say

"Is there something going on at home" she asks and it takes me a moment for my brain to catch up with her so close to me, i chance looking in her eyes and manage to shake my head no.

I watch her eyes question me "I just didn't have the energy to make it home ok" I tell her.

"Ok" she says as she stands and goes back to her desk taking a sip of the coffee.

"So about what happened last night, it's not what you think"

"I don't think anything" she has a tone that says I know you are lying but I'm not going to call you on it.

"When I'm tired and stressed I just sometimes" I try to explain but I don't really know what to say but im thankful that I'm silenced by a knock on the door.

 **ALEX POV**

"Sorry" I tell her quickly

"Come in I call to the person at the door

I watch intently as it opens but sigh when I see our boss cross the threshold he has an odd look on his face this is normally the point I either get yelled at or he tells me I have some awful case to fix.

"Oh miss Novak you're here" I see him look to Casey who is quick to responded

"I can leave sir" she moves to stand

"No stay, I'll need both of you on this one"

"Great, a case" I say

"yes but it won't be easy we believe it was a hate crime there was a shooting at a primary school one dead two others wounded"

Both of us gasp at his words he hands me the files and I look to casey there is rage in her eyes I'm sure that she wants this man dead anyone who can kill a child should die but that flame in her eyes makes her quite sexy, what am I doing I have a file of a dead boy by god pull yourself together Alexandra.

"But there are two cases here" I question him

"In the course of investigating the shooting the detectives uncovered a child molester as well so you can split the cases as you see fit"

"Yes sir"

"Yes sir" Casey echos

"Have a nice day ladies" he says as he walks away and closes the door behind him.

I look to Casey she had a fire in her eyes and I know in that moment how strong she really is maybe I am wrong about what I saw and if I'm not then at least it seems to be in her past and right now we have two cases to crack I can tell shes watching me and she wants to ask something so I nod.

"Can I have the case Alex" she wants the tough case she wants another horror story in her head I give her a look that says are you sure and watch as those strands of red locks fall lose of her bun as she nods.

"Please I can do this"

"Here" I hand her the file "best get over to the squad room then" I tell her

She jumps up and I see the flame in her eye turn to light she's happy truly happy about getting another chance I'm sure she turns to leave and smiles at me " I won't let you down I promise" she says as she bounds for the door.

"I hope so "I whisper not wanting her to hear me I flip over the file on desk I'm met with the face of some creeping looking man in his late sixties and the dd5 of the interview "yeah creep you're going away for a while" I smile to myself best get ready for court seeing as it would be later that day. I just hope this case doesn't get too much for Casey and I really should try and be a better support system for her because fighting each other really is not going to get us anywhere with all the scum we fight in court. I take another sip of coffee, and hey she really does make great coffee.


	5. friends like theses

_****A/N:****_

 _Hi everyone ooo look double update make sure you didn't miss chapter four . Also the case referenced in this chapter and the last is from the episode 'RAW' season 7 id day spoilers but as were on season 19 and you're reading a calex fic I'm assuming you have seen it. If not you missed a great episode and should fix that right now seriously all episodes are on Hulu. Anyway i love reviews especially if they say nice things . Sorry updates are random but real life is random unfortunately. All mistakes are mine all non original ideas and characters are property of their rightful owners. Ok ttfn enjoy the chapter. Leave nice reviews ~ICE_

 **Alex POV**

I hadn't seen Casey for a few days; she had been working really hard on this case Liv had been trying to keep me updated on it. The most they had gotten was that it had to do with some group of white supremacists and they were pretty sure they found the shooter and the guy who hired the shooter they told me that the trial was being set for that Wednesday I was dying to see Casey in the courtroom but the trial was at the same time as mine. Liv had also let it slip that Casey had gotten hit on by the shooter I almost died laughing oh well that's kind of a rite of passage around here. However apparently she was taking all of this very well and keeping her cool every step of the way guess she had decided she did want to work here. I was actually happy about having a less stressful caseload.

It was almost noon court started up at one, I thought about getting lunch but I knew I never really ate before court so I would just head to the coffee shop across from the courthouse. I walked in and up to the counter and ordered a medium Caramel hazelnut latte. I was scanning the room when a flash of red caught my eye; I smiled grabbing my coffee off the counter and walking over to the table. She had a half-eaten scone on her plate and was sipping an iced tea she seemed calm she had her notepad in front of her man her handwriting was awful I could hear her whispering to herself , no doubt trying to get her opening statement perfect I let out a small giggle and she turns toward me.

"Hey there, can I get you a coffee" I ask as she sets down her now empty tea.

"What are you doing here?"

"This is lunch" smiling as I shake my coffee.

"Same here" she looks confused "sit please" pointing to the chair across from her.

"Thanks" taking my seat.

"You know I'm not spying, my case is at the same time" I explain

"Didn't think you were Cabot" ok so we are still not using first names that's fun I decided I'll go with it.

"Well Novak I heard you got hit on by your shooter"

"Oh yeah it was real sweet" I could feel those green pools shoot lasers at me and I shook my head.

"Mmmm that good"

"Yes I believe it was, how about you and me baby bet we would make pretty white babies together."

I bust out laughing and this made her giggle as well .

"What's so funny" I ask

"Oh nothing I just didn't think the great Alex Cabot could laugh like that.

"Well maybe if someone would get to know me they would stop saying things like that" I snap at her I truly hate when people say things like that. I feel like every time I talk to this woman we take two steps back is she incapable of having a friend.

"Why would you want me to know you?"

"You know I thought when you brought me coffee a week ago we were getting somewhere and now your acting like this" i knew as those words left my mouth they were the wrong things to say but too late.

"Look Cabot I don't need friends I have work, I brought you coffee because I wanted to explain about what happened"

"Which if I recall you never did"

"True, but you know it's not really your place and now if you don't mind I have court" she said gathering her things and heading for the door.

I grab my coffee and follow her we walk across the street to the steps of the courthouse and she turns to me and I swear I see a small tear in her eye she turns and walks down to me.

"Please just leave it alone, just please" her eyes watering more and I don't know why I was mad but I do more than regret what I said next

"Are you really that damaged Novak, that you can't even see when someone is trying to be friends with you, you really are ridiculous, good luck in court"

"You too" I hear her whisper as I brush past her I'm not sure what part of the statement that was made about but I walk inside and head to my courtroom .

The trial was going great the little girl had just testified and it was now time to light in to the guy who hurt her when it seemed everything froze we all a few loud bangs but they seemed distant the court officers wakie started talking I watched as the judge glared but the officer held up his hand and then spoke.

"There has been a shooting in the room down the hall 104, there saying at least six shot" my heart sank I knew it was my squad in that room. Everyone rushed out the back way of the building you could see other officers holding prisoners and frantic victims, judges and lawyers running I went outside and ran around to the front to wait. I watched as I saw Elliot and John being rush into the ambulances it was a mess I snapped my head around when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Captain" I said not sure if I could form words

"They're all going to mercy head over if you want" he told me as he looked for any uninjured members of his squad I watched as Liv, Casey and Fin ran down the steps and hopped into a waiting car. I turned and walked back toward my car around the corner and headed for the hospital trying to breathe at least Casey was unharmed.

I sat in the waiting room there were always so many people when officers get shot but it makes me feel safe so I don't really mind I'm sitting there for a while when I see Liv walk toward me.

"Olivia, how is everyone"

"Elliot and john are ok , three people are dead though" I nod that room must have been horrifying I thought I look into the eyes of my best friend and I can tell she knows what I'm about to ask.

"she went back to the office, think she was going to head home" she told me and I looked confused she rolled her eyes, she always had a way of knowing things I didn't

"Casey" she says and I sigh I grab my purse and head for the door

"Call me if anything changes" I call to her

She just flashes me a thumbs up and turns back to one of the doctors.

* * *

 **Casey POV**

I had left the hospital after getting my head looked at I was fine but would have a headache for a few days but it doesn't hurt that bad , however the thought of dying dose he had that gun to my head, he wanted to kill me and he could have I shake my head stepping into my office and I head for my couch again not ready to deal with life outside these walls I lean back and think and I realize the thing that scared me most was the thoughts running past my mind as he held that gun there it was the last thing Alex said to me and if I really was damaged I mean that kid Kyle who had the gun to my head was damaged and he's dead so what makes me so different, she wasn't wrong I really don't have any friends it's too hard to let people in.

Then again almost dying watching my co-workers get shot to protect me and the others in that courtroom maybe I could be something more than the spitfire tomboy maybe I could be Casey. I know I'm crying I can feel the tears hitting my face but I do nothing to stop them, I don't know why I hurt Alex today either I feel awful I mean I guess it is possible for someone to be nice to you without wanting to hurt you, maybe I could give her a real chance even though I'm sure she wouldn't want to be friends now. Also how could I ever explain things to her i mean i do push everyone away but it's just safer at least it was. I'm lost in my thoughts when I hear a tapping on the door and it being to creek open I don't look up, I can't, I see her shoes as she steps in and I know it's her.

"are you ok" her soft comforting voice fills my ears I shake my head and she slides onto the couch next to me I expect her arms around me but when they are not I tilt my head toward her and shyly smile she opens her arms to me, she was asking permission to hold me I nod and lean into her shoulder. Her hands tangle into my hair and run circles on my back, I sigh her blonde hair is covering my face I take a deep breath trying to stop crying but the only thing I succeed in is sniffing her golden locks mangos she would use fruity shampoo.

"It's ok your safe "she tells me I pull back and look at her.

"I'm sorry" I say

And she shakes her head "don't worry about that now ok" I nod maybe this friendship thing really isn't so bad.

"Did they tell you what happened in there" I asked her

"Not entirely, I didn't know you were hurt" she says running her hand over the bump on my head.

"He had the gun to my head, he would have killed me if the guys hadn't stepped in" I cry and fall back into her shoulder.

"shhh shhh shhh"

"Why" I whisper into her ear.

she pulls me back and grabs my hands she stares into my eyes and for the first time in a while I see something in her I haven't seen in anyone well at least not directed at me, love I may not know what kind but it's there dimly but there.

"Why what"

"Why did they save me?"

"One Casey it's their job, two you're there friend "she wasted no time in saying that

"Thought I couldn't have friends" I told her

"I ….. I didn't mean that. I'm so sorry"

"I know"

"You have a whole squad of friends, if you want them and you have me" she raises her hand to my cheek and uses her thumb to wipe away some of the tears.

"friends" I smile as if confirming what she said. I was waiting for her to move her hand away but she didn't for a while longer then she slowly brushed it back pulling a strand of lose hair behind my ear, if she was a guy I think she would have kissed me right then but I'm pretty sure she's straight anyway and besides she said she wants to be friends. But as her hand snakes to the back of my head and I look into her ice blue eyes .

"What are you doing" I ask

"sorry" she said quickly pulling her hand away

"I should be going" she says and stands who's pushing who away now I think.

"yeah thanks friend" I say she looks at me as I stand as if showing her the door

"this is being there for someone"

"I I can't" she says

"Right and I'm the one who can't have friends "

"I have lots of friends Novak so back off"

"Yeah how many did you buy Cabot?" why does this keep happening one second we are good then it's all out war why is this so hard for us.

"You bitch"

"Takes one to know one" she walks toward me her eyes glazing over; she stands there not speaking for a bit.

"you know , why don't you go back to the dumpster you came out of" I glare at her trying to decide if I'm going to slap her or kiss her, man she's sexy when she's pissed. I don't know why I thought we could be friends every time we try to have a nice convo it ends up in someone plotting murder.

"Not going to respond, so you agree you're trailer trash" I think she sees the look in my eyes because she was slightly slurring that last sentence.

"Alex" I say softly

"Yeah"

"Shut up "I tell her

I lean into her and place my lips on hers I leave them pressed for a moment giving her the option to pull away but she doesn't. Instead she places her hand on the back of my head and I feel her tongue trace my lips, I part them slightly and let her in as I wrap my arms around her neck. She pulls me closer and we deepen the kiss I let her take more of the control but only for a moment before I fight her back she let up and allowed it. We were perfect this was perfect at the point I knew I couldn't breathe I pulled back.

"Casey" she moans out

"yyyyy eeee sssss" still catching my breath

"I don't think you're trailer trash"

"And I don't think you're a rich priss"

We both smile I don't know where this is going but I think I like it and that kiss made me realize I may have a squad full of friends but as for Alex I don't think being friends is going to work because I don't think I could keep from kissing her after that. I know I have things to work through but with Alex holding my hand I'm sure I will be ok.

"Alex"

"Yes"

"I have some things to tell you" she places a finger to my lips

"Another time" she says and I smile she's right now's not the time but I think we both feel better now she turns to the door and I release her hand.

"Drinks at my place Friday "she says as she walks out. I fall back onto the couch and smile. Somehow the second worst day of my life has turned into the best all because I just made out with Alexandra Cabot.


End file.
